I wear comfy pants

I like my jogging trousers. They are my default type of pants and I very rarely deviate from it. They are very comfortable and I believe they look relatively neutral; just black or gray, no stripes or whatnot. My family however detests my choice of trousers (as mentioned in a previous post, Do not be yourself). They have tried to convince me time and time again to wear "real" or "normal" pants, with which they essentially mean jeans. So far, I have refused (at least, in neutral social situations; I would never wear them at, say, a wedding). And as a result of two family members independently criticizing this aspect of me within the span of a week, here is a breakdown of the arguments and why I have not been convinced by them.

The arguments against

There are recurring arguments that come up in these types of discussions. Let's go through the main ones.

It's an impression

This is by far the most used argument against jogging trousers. They are not particularly classy, and one might look as though they don't very much care about their appearance. Some people might even judge the person wearing the pants as being poor or lazy (or both). My family thinks that this is a negatively perceived barrier that I put on myself, which they believe to be a pity because they do like my personality. They think this prevents certain people from getting to know me and finding out that I'm a nice person. In a way, they believe the first impression I give people is inaccurate.

This argument does not sit well with me because I believe strongly that this type of judgement needs to end. It's the same sentiment that one would have when judging someone on the fact that a person has piercings, are wearing a leather jacket, or even just because they dyed their hair. None of these things ever really accurately reflect someone's personality. It might give some hints that are statistically true, but are not true on the individual level. The thought process is flawed; "most people with biker jackets are bikers, therefore if someone is wearing a biker jacket, they must be a biker." This logic is inherently discriminatory. The worse, but equivalent version of it, that many still do to this day, is "most East Asians are Chinese, therefore this East Asian person in front of me must be Chinese." I prefer not to engage with strangers who apply this type of deduction, because they seem close-minded to the idea that people could be different from their expectations. Likely, I am also different from what one might expect (regardless of my pants, but moreso if I were to wear jeans) and therefore my pants in this way act like a filter to reduce the chance of socially incompatible strangers talking to me. If one chooses not to interact with me due to my outfit, I am glad to cooperate with that. I would even say I prefer that over wearing "real" pants to appeal also to the ignorant subsection of the population that cares about this kind of stuff. I realize it is a compromise between my own personal comfort and the impression I give others; and I am happy to accept this compromise.

Your choices reflect on us

This is one of the secondary arguments that are brought up. My family is worried that my fashion (or lack thereof) gives others a negative impression not only of me, but also my family members. This somewhat invalidates the filtering counterargument I gave above, because now I am not only filtering out the more judgemental folk for myself, but also to a degree for my family members who I must assume do not want those to be filtered out.

On the other hand, this goes both ways; if I wanted to go full goth with my look, and I wanted to be perceived positively by other goth people, I could not reasonably ask my family to go goth solely because this is the type of social environment I want to create for myself. Even if half of my family went goth, it is out-of-line to think that the rest of the family should just conform to this idea. It is only natural that different people have different preferences, and asking another to adjust to your own preference (even if there is a majority agreeing) is violating the person's sense of self. It is okay not to like it, but it is too far to push your own beliefs onto them.

Another analogy that crossed my mind is tattoos. This, like jogging trousers, can be seen in a negative light; some people have preconceptions about tattooed persons and make assumptions about someone solely based on this physical attribute. One of my family members also has tattoos. Hypothetically, I could dislike this, and perhaps I do not want other people to see that I have a family member with tattoos. But realistically, I believe this is harsh; who am I to judge that decision? This family member has said they are ashamed of my trousers; yet I cringe intensely at the thought of telling them I am ashamed of their tattoos. Not only is this out-of-line, it also doesn't make sense; I don't have the tattoos, why would I be ashamed of someone else having them? Once again I see this as a filter; if someone wants to judge me based solely on the fact that I am with (or have) a family member with tattoos, so be it! Of course, the difference here is that tattoos are (semi-)permanent; so there's not much of a point in telling someone with tattoos that you don't like them or even that you are ashamed of them. But my preference for the type of pants I wear is also (semi-)permanent, and while I can temporarily choose to mask that by wearing other types of bottoms, attempting to convince me to do so in general (even if it is limited to making first impressions or whatnot) is futile.

It looks bad

The third argument that is brought up seems a bit more elementary; "jeans look better." This is completely subjective, of course. I do recognize that a larger percentage of the population (at least in my environment) prefers "proper" pants over what I'm wearing, but I don't think this is a good reason to change. If we all simply stay within the realm of social expectation, then where is the innovation? Where is the uniqueness? Where is the personality? At one point in time, wearing jeans was actually seen the same as wearing joggers is now; jeans are for miners! You wouldn't go out with that in public, would you? Yet one person had to be the first to do so; and over time more and more people did, and it became accepted because the general public realized that people wearing jeans in public don't necessarily fit into the bad preconceptions that one might have in their mind. I'm not trying to start a trend, by any means (or to suggest I am the first); but I do think it is okay to wear somewhat unconventional clothing.

Trust me, bro

This is the final argument. It's really not an argument per se, but it's along the lines of "we know better than you, so you should listen to us." I don't think I have to go very deep into how this argument is flawed, but to demostrate this; it is the same argument one might use to convince another of a religion. "I have felt [insert god], I have seen [that god] do good in my life, so I know [the god] exists. Trust me and come to my side, the right side." It's a vicious cycle of thinking you are right, therefore applying that belief in the real world and seeing it happen in the world through confirmation bias, which in turn makes the belief even stronger.

Let me be me

So I ask my family, please be respectful of my choices. You don't have to like them. But you don't have to continuously try to convince me of your beliefs. I understand the repercussions of how I dress, and this is a compromise I happily make and consciously choose to make every time we have these discussions.