A note to myself

Today I was plagued by the feeling of wanting to do something, yet not feeling like doing anything. A call for productivity, yet no project appetizing enough to work on. I think most people know this feeling. A drive, with no outlet. What I end up doing is trying to find something short-term to satisfy my desire to "do something", yet not quite doing something. Watch a video, play a game of chess, etcetera.

When I thought back on my youth, and the drive I had back then, it started to make some sense. Building a hourse out of legos is a one-day or even one-hour project. It's easy to get started, and easy to finish. It's a very manageable project. And it's so small that if it fails, it doesn't matter.

On the other hand, nowadays I struggle to find this same excitement and curiosity. I've grown tired of some things, because I've already done them many times. I've gotten more picky with what I allow myself to be content with. And, most of all, I've become more ambitious. I don't want to build a house anymore, I want to build cities. This leads to every project blowing up in size. Subsequently, I feel pressured by the massive weight that comes with a project. There are many problems I just don't want to solve, even if I generally love doing so.

Keep it small

Naturally, the solution is simple; to limit the scope of my projects. Try to come up with simple things, that can be done within a weekend or even a day. Hopefully, this'll reboot some of the motivation I used to have as a kid. I can hack away at a project, and drop it if I want to. Additionally, I must try to be less perfectionistic. Not everything I make has to be a masterpiece. In a way, it is just a trait I've developed that causes me to be less satisfied in general.

This blog is the start of "keeping it small". The idea is that blog posts are (relatively) small in scope, and can be written in a short timespan. Whenever I feel like doing something, but don't quite have the mental capacity or motivation to pour that drive into a long-term project, I can dump that energy into this blog. Perhaps this blog evolves into a journal of sorts. Or maybe not.